Lofty Apple

Timothy James here, your coffee charged timeline skipping correspondent, and today the Re-Watch has hurled me straight through a universe made of gobstoppers, gremlins, giant peaches, and Big Friendly Giants. Yes, you heard that right: It’s time for Roald Dahl, renowned book writer and master of captivating the audience. The Re-watch drops me into September 13, 1916, Cardiff, Wales, where baby Roald Dahl arrives. Young Dahl isn’t yet crafting stories - he’s busy surviving through school, pranks, rats inside candy jars, becoming the #1 lavatory seat warmer, and eating chocolate. He had some fun testing the chocolates of a factory, providing distinct information for a little bit of sweetness, also providing the seed to a future iconic Chocolate Factory so famous it became a bestseller. After finishing school, Dahl refuses the standard university route. The Re-Watch spins me into 1984, where Dahl joins the Shell Oil Company. By 1936, he’s stationed in Tanganyika. If you don’t know what that is, it’s now Tanzania. IF you don’t know what THAT is, look at the south west section of Africa. He’s still not writing. Then 1939 arrives, and World War II erupts. Dahl quickly joins the Royal Air Force in 1939. Then things get interesting. He trains in Kenya (don’t make me explain where that is, please). He crashes his plane in Libya due to a navigational error. He suffers a skull fracture, temporary blindness, back problems, and still returns to flying. And then he participates in a BATTLE. A real life battle. Specifically the Battle of Greece. Oh and then the Syria Lebanon campaign, which was to invade Syria and Lebanon to prevent the Axis from using them as bases to launch attacks. And there he was dubbed a Squadron Leader. 1942 arrives quicker than expected during all this chaos. Dahl is sent to Washington D.C., where he becomes MI6, a British intelligence officer. The timeline shifts to a spy novel, as Dahl becomes a secret agent and meets powerful figures, such as Ian Fleming. And then he used those adventures to write for a newspaper, which became an instant hit. Fueled by this, Dahl wrote his first book: The Gremlins. This later became a short film and then was used to make a short film project by Disney. The book was published, and was sold well. The film - well, it never materialized. Dahl begins to publish stories in magazines - dark twisty adult tales nothing like the children’s tales like Someone like You and Kiss, Kiss. Then the timeline goes full throttle to 1961. Dahl unleashes a long held barrage of classics, each one making the readers wait in agony for the next: James and the Giant Peach (1961), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (1964), Fantastic Mister Fox (1970), Danny, the Champion of the World (1975), The Enormous Crocodile (1978), The Twits (1980), the BFG (1982), The Witches (1983), and Matilda (1988). Dahl’s style becomes unmistakable. His books sell over 200 million copies worldwide. The Rewatch is literally melting. In 1953, Dahl marries Patricia Neal. Then comes tragedies: his daughter Olivia dies of measles encephalitis in 1962, his son Theo suffers brain damage after an accident, and his wife suffers many strokes. Dahl responded with creating the Wade-Dahl-Till valve, a medical device used to treat hydrocephalus. Dahl dies on November 23, 1990 in Oxford. And this is the life of Roald Dahl: famous writer, secret spy, army officer, squadron leader, entrepreneurial inventor, leaving a legacy of Wonka Vites, Vita Wonks, and books. ¹²